Maybe Dad has gone quiet on the phone since Mum died. Maybe your mum’s friends have moved away or passed on, and the days between your visits feel long. When you’re worried an older parent is lonely, two options tend to come up: a befriending service, or companionship care.
Both are about company and connection, and both can make a real difference. But they work in different ways, and they suit different situations. This guide explains what each one offers, how they compare and how to find the right fit for your parent. Often, the answer is a bit of both.
Key Takeaways
- A befriending service matches an older person with a volunteer for regular, friendly contact, by phone or in person. It’s usually free.
- Companionship care is paid support from a care provider, with visits at times you choose and carers matched to your parent.
- Befriending is about friendship. Companionship care can also include practical help, outings and keeping an eye on how someone is doing.
- Many families use both: a befriender for a weekly chat and companionship visits for more regular company and support.
- Age UK and the NHS can point you to a befriending service for elderly people near you.
What is a befriending service?
A befriending service matches someone who is lonely or isolated with a volunteer, who keeps in regular touch to offer friendship and a listening ear. Befriending services are run by charities and community groups, and they’re usually free.
There are two main kinds of befriending:
- Telephone befriending. A friendly volunteer rings at the same time each week for a chat. It suits people who don’t want visitors, or who live somewhere rural.
- Face-to-face befriending. A volunteer visits at home for a cup of tea and a chat, or goes with the person to a café or a local activity.
Age UK’s befriending services include a free telephone friendship service, run with its partner charity The Silver Line, and face-to-face befriending through many local Age UKs. Other charities, such as Re-engage, offer befriending too.
Befriending is built on friendship. Volunteers are carefully matched and trained, but they’re not carers, so they don’t help with personal care, medicines or jobs around the house.
What is companionship care?
Companionship care is paid support from a home care provider, focused on company, conversation and keeping someone engaged with life. It’s arranged around your parent: the days, the times, how long each visit lasts and what happens during it.
Depending on the provider, companionship care can include:
- Conversation and company, at home, over a cup of tea or a meal.
- Activities they enjoy, from games and puzzles to scrapbooks, music and singing.
- Getting out and about, including trips out, the theatre, social groups and clubs.
- A little practical help, like making a drink or a light meal, or popping to the shop.
- Keeping an eye, noticing if someone isn’t eating, is more confused than usual or seems low, and letting the family know.
Because carers are part of a care team, companionship can sit alongside other help if needs change. Someone who starts with a weekly outing might later need help getting up in the morning, for example. If that happens, our guide to what domiciliary care means explains the next step.
Befriending service vs companionship care at a glance
| Befriending service | Companionship care |
Who provides it | A trained volunteer, through a charity or community group | A trained carer, through a home care provider |
Cost | Usually free | Paid, privately or with council funding |
How often | Often once a week, by phone or in person | Whenever you choose, from once a week to every day |
What happens | A chat, a cup of tea, sometimes an outing | Company, activities, outings and light practical help |
Personal care | Not included | Can be added by arrangement |
If there’s a worry | The volunteer passes it on to the charity | The carer passes it on to the office and the family |
Getting started | Referral to the charity, and a wait for a match in some areas | Contact the provider, often starting within days |
When a befriending service is the right fit
Befriending services do wonderful work, and for many older people they’re exactly what’s needed. A befriender might be the right choice if your parent:
- Manages well day to day, but misses having someone to talk to.
- Would enjoy a regular weekly call or visit to look forward to.
- Likes the idea of a friend rather than someone “from the care company”.
- Doesn’t need, or isn’t ready for, any practical help at home.
Volunteers give their time freely, and demand can be high, so ask how long a match usually takes when you get in touch.
When companionship care might suit better
Companionship care tends to suit families who need something more regular, more flexible or more hands-on. It might be the better fit if:
- Your parent would benefit from company most days, not just once a week.
- They need someone to go with them, to get out to the shops, a club or an appointment.
- They’re living with dementia, where familiar faces, routine and gentle stimulation really help.
- You live some distance away and want someone to keep an eye on things and keep you informed.
- They need a little practical help too, like a meal made or a prescription collected.
- You, as a family carer, need a break, knowing someone you trust is spending time with them.
Many families use both. A befriender for a weekly phone call, and companionship visits on the days in between, can give an older parent plenty of friendly faces without relying on any one person.
Finding a befriending service for elderly people near you
If you’d like to look into befriending, here’s where to start:
- Age UK. Use the postcode search on Age UK’s befriending page to find face-to-face befriending near you, or sign up for its free telephone friendship service.
- The NHS. The NHS’s loneliness guidance points to organisations such as Age UK, The Silver Line and Re-engage.
- Your GP surgery. Ask whether they can refer your parent to local groups and support.
- Your local council. Sandwell, Dudley and Wolverhampton councils can all point you to community groups and support for older people in your area.
It also helps to ask your parent what they’d enjoy. Some people love the idea of a weekly chat with a new friend; others would much rather go to a lunch club or a singing group.
Signs an older parent may be lonely
Loneliness isn’t always easy to spot, especially from a distance, and older people often don’t want to worry their families. The NHS notes that older people are particularly at risk if they live alone or don’t have regular contact with others. Things to look out for include:
- Long phone calls, or calling more often than usual, sometimes with no particular reason.
- Giving up activities they used to enjoy, like clubs, church or seeing friends.
- Not looking after themselves as well as before, or not eating properly.
- Seeming low, flat or withdrawn, or talking about feeling like a burden.
- Mentioning that the days are long, or that they haven’t spoken to anyone all week.
If low mood has lasted more than a couple of weeks, encourage your parent to speak to their GP. Loneliness is common, and there’s plenty of help available.
Companionship care with Caring with Dignity
Our companionship care is about genuine company and connection, not ticking off a visit. We match your parent with carers they can relate to, and keep the same small team so they get to know each other properly.
Visits are built around what your parent enjoys: a good conversation, music and a sing-song, a game of cards, looking through photos and making scrapbooks, or getting out for a trip, a show or a social club. Companionship visits are available from 10am to 10pm. Personal care isn’t part of companionship visits unless we’ve arranged it beforehand, but if more help is needed later on, our wider home care team can step in.
It’s all part of the person-centred care we offer to everyone we support. And if you have lasting power of attorney, the Tag Care app lets you see visit times and read the carers’ notes, so you can see how your parent is getting on, wherever you live.
Befriending and companionship care: your questions answered
Are befriending services free?
Most are. Befriending services are usually run by charities and community groups using volunteers, and there’s normally no charge. Age UK’s telephone friendship service, for example, is free.
Can a befriender help with personal care?
No. Befrienders are volunteers who offer friendship, not care. If your parent needs help with washing, dressing, meals or medicines, that’s a job for a home care provider.
What is companionship care, and is it the same as home care?
Companionship care is one type of home care, focused on company, conversation and getting out and about rather than personal care. Many people start with companionship and add other support later if their needs change.
Can companionship carers take Mum out?
Yes, outings are often a big part of companionship care, from a trip to the shops or a café to a show or a social club. Talk to the provider about what your mum would enjoy and how travel works.
What if Dad says he doesn’t need company?
That’s very common, and it’s often pride or not wanting to be a bother. It can help to start with something he’s interested in, like a trip to the football or help with the garden, rather than calling it “company”. Let him meet the carer first, and go at his pace.
Not sure what kind of help Mum or Dad needs?
From a daily pop-in to regular companionship visits, our team can talk you through the options and arrange a free care assessment, so you stay in control of when visits happen and what they include. No pressure, just a friendly chat.
or email manager@caringwithdignity.co.uk
